Foreign Police

Okay, so I had to go see the foreign police today. Our appointment was for 9:30, so we left around 9. Well, we got there late, only by about 10 minutes, so it was okay. There was a long line anyway. The foreign police office is like the DMV. Only I don't speak their language. We finally got back to our apartment at 12:50 and we all crashed. Seriously, we took a 4 hour nap. Sweet.

I TOLD YOU IT RAINS A LOT IN PRAGUE!

So tonight we had our first real thunderstorm. It's like, pouring. So, naturally, I was dangerous and sat on the window ledge in hopes of getting a good picture... I like it anyway. Now if I could only figure out how to turn the pictures...

Walking Tour - Day #3

A really old church. I couldn't go in, though you can't tell from this picture.

In the church courtyard.

Faraway view of Prague Castle

Some statue on Charles Bridge

Another statue on Charles Bridge

This just looked cute. I have no idea what it is.

The Lover's Locks on the Vltava

The Charles Bridge

Down my street. I'm stilling on the window ledge...

A park by our apartment

A view of Prague

My Apartment

This is our kitchen. Isn't it cute?

This is the house across the street.

My bed before I added a duvet cover.

After the duvet cover. I think it looks so much happier with the orange.

Snippet #18

“Oh, are you her lesbian lover?” He taunted. I did everything I could to not cringe. Being a lesbian had never made things easy for me. I can’t speak for all lesbians, but the girls I had come across never were all that friendly, afraid I’d become romantically interested in them, and the boys just didn’t understand that while, yes, I was a lesbian, I was still a girl. And no, I would not let them watch.

“I’m not. But what if I was? What difference does that make to you?”

“It’s not normal. I shouldn’t have to worry about gays hitting me.”

            “Wow. First off, she’s a lesbian and won’t be hitting on you. And second, don’t flatter yourself. No sensible gay man is going to be attracted to you when you’re such an asshole.”

Dobrý den from Praha - Prague

So sorry I haven't been updating these past few days. I know that Mandi is probably about to kill me. I've been super busy - getting used to my neighborhood and orientation and trying to learn Czech (IT'S SO HARD YOU GUYS, LIKE NO JOKE). Later I'll post pictures of my apartment and the few pictures I've taken so far - I know, I'm supposed to take a lot of them, but I don't want to look like a tourist, so I don't take pictures when I'm in large groups. I'm weird. Deal with it. But seriously, the apartment is gorgeous, and IT HAS A BALCONY. And I've made friends you guys. There's two of my roommates, Sevi (whose full name is Severina...like how cool is that?), and Rachel, who I get along with really well. And then there's 3 girls who live around the block: Dorothy, Karli and Bee. Bee is from Nigeria, so that's cool. I'm the youngest out of all of them...Karli is 23, Bee and Dorothy are 21 I think, and then Rachel and Severina are 20.

My school starts on Monday, so I'll try and keep you updated on that. Tomorrow I have to go see the Foreign Police - who only speak Czech despite working with foreigners all day - to register my visa or something so I can live in my apartment. It's weird, and I don't really get it. So yeah, that's about it... 

Rape Scene Attempt #2

“Just keep walking. Ignore them.” Sophie said, eyeing up the six figures walking towards us. They had begun shouting catcalls at us. Fear stuck in my throat, so I just nodded.

Sophie’s hands were in her pockets, and I could tell she was searching for something.

They stopped and let us pass them on the sidewalk. I closed my eyes in an attempt to calm myself down. If it wasn’t for Sophie, I would have been paralyzed by fear a good 300 meters back.

We made it. Nothing bad was going to happen. Everything was okay.

I looked next to me at Sophie. Her entire body was rigid with anticipation, still not letting her guard down. As our eyes met, I saw the panic etched into her face. Her eyes were darting back and forth between me and the men.

I was paying so much attention to Sophie, I let my guard down. I was jerked backwards as someone grabbed my waist. “I’m going to rock your world, you bitch,” someone hissed into my ear. I was pushed on to the ground. The street was wet, and I could feel it seep into my clothes. The man forced himself on top of me.

My entire being thrashed in protest. His words sounded so rehearsed, like he had been here, done this, before. In comparison, my words were ugly and primal, like I knew that I was nothing more than a trapped animal – squealing, squirming, anything to escape what would undoubtedly come next. That much my muddled brain could understand. Everything was happening so fast.

In an effort to subdue my maniac behavior, he kissed me. His lips pressed against mine, hard and uncompromising, enforcing any action he would later commit against me. I froze as my brain tried to register the next chain of events unfolding in front of me.       

Taking my sudden pause as my relenting, he took the moment. Ice fingers traced down my thighs as he unzipped my jeans. My attempts to struggle against him returned, but remained utterly futile – one of his thick hands and arms wrapped around my chest, while the other explored various areas of my body.

His breath was hot on my face as he half-whispered, half-grunted, “Maybe a little dick will change your mind.” Fingers tore at my hijab, and I’ve never felt so exposed. Dirty, almost. Like someone was seeing a part of me that I hadn’t given them permission to see. Then I realized, that was exactly what was happening.

Panic finally registered in my brain – this was not how it was supposed to go. This was not love, or lust even; this was just about control. HIS control, not mine.

Pain seared through my body: I knew that it was there, but I couldn’t feel anything over my own panic. I was detached, separate, saving myself from the horror of knowing. Knowing I screwed up. It was a movie playing out; I was just an observer. I could see the pain, knew it was there, but it was like I was watching it happen to someone else. My body was no longer mine, alien to me. I waited for tears, but they never came. Sticky from sweat and rain water, I didn’t move; I couldn’t move. It hurt too much to try.

            “Now you aren’t a lesbian,” he almost growled at me. At that moment, I looked him right in the eyes. His dark eyes were dead, hollow. They seemed to stare right through me, as if I didn’t even matter, as if I was just a part of the scenery – like a lamp post or a garbage can. I never felt so worthless. I wasn’t even worthy of being seen.

I could hear Sophie crying out and fighting back; doing everything I no longer could do. She had some fight left in her. Mine has been taken from me again and again.

            Minutes turned to hours as they all had their way with me. Then they vanished.

            Sophie and I didn’t talk as we walked home.  

Snippet #17

“And you don’t expect to get a pretty girl?” I shot back.

Jonáš made a face, “Pansexual, sweetheart. Doesn’t have to be a pretty girl. A pretty boy will do just fine. I’m not picky.”

Snippet #16

“Sophie, why are you in our house? Don’t you have your own place to live?” Marek asked. He was only wearing his bath towel, which was a tad surprising.

            Sophie wasn’t fazed. “Yeah, but my roommate has her boyfriend over. And I know I’m a pretty open minded person and everything, but some things you just don’t do – and sleeping with your roommate and her boyfriend is one of them.” 

            As if on cue, Jonáš popped his head around the doorframe. “Sex?”

            “No. They’re taking a nap.”

Snippet #15

“I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS!” Jonáš screamed. His voice boomed in the small space. For a small man, he could sure project. Everyone wore shocked expressions. Sophie looked at me, her eyes huge.

Marek was the only one brave enough to ask what Jonáš didn’t sign up for. And by brave enough, I mean that he, Sophie and I had a silent eye conversation as to who would step up.

“I was born with choices, yes? Then why do I feel like I have to work my ass off in school for basically my entire childhood when I could’ve been out using my imagination and eating Play-Doh like the idiot child I was, only to then go to university where I work my ass off just to get a job that I know I won’t like? Huh? I DON’T SEE THE POINT!”

“Preach, my brother.” Sophie held her hands up in mock prayer. 

Snippet #14

“Why do you do that? Take a perfectly fine moment and destroy it with some deep speech on the tragedy of life?” Marek asked.

“I’ve learned from the best.” She gave Marek a smug smile. 

“Hey now,” he said, “When I’m being cynical, I don’t really mean it.”

Snippet #13

There’s something so personal about writing; you give yourself away to others in hopes that they feel just as lost and alone as you do. And together, in that moment of loneliness, you both feel less alone. That’s what writing is about.

Snippet #12

“Yeah, we can all sit around and sip wine and discuss great literature or film or art. Except Sophie, who’ll have grape juice because she can’t drink in her country.”

            “Thanks, guys.”

Snippet #11

“I don’t know if she’s really that deep, or if the rest of us are just really that shallow.”

Snippet #10

Jonáš sat flabbergasted. “She – she just broke his nose.”

“Time to go in,” Marek pulled Jonáš towards the fist fight. “You take the girl; I’ll handle the other guy.”

Jonáš looked terrified. “Why do I get the girl? I don’t want my face destroyed!”

           “Better yours than mine,” Marek grinned. Jonáš just rolled his eyes and they entered the fight screaming fake siren noises. 

Snippet #9

There was no way this girl was real. She was like Captain America, sworn to stick up for those who can’t do it for themselves. 

Snippet #8

“Only two things can happen when you don’t quite fit in. You’re either a square peg in a round hole trying desperately to make things work, or you’re a round peg in a square hole and going about life feeling like a part of you is missing.”

Snippet #7

Loving her was like loving the rain. You enjoy it while you have it, and once she leaves, you can’t recreate it. You can only remember how it felt to dance in the rain and pray that you’ll feel that freedom again.