MacGyver -- 23 May 2015

She was my stability
The 4-year long constant
She never saw the tears I cried
For I wasn't crying for her
Or because she was leaving
But they were merely for myself
And the changes I didn't realize
Until they hit me like a tidal wave
I never thought I was afraid of being alone
So I'll placate myself
And dry my own tears
Label it all "Done" and "Fun" and "Over"
Fall in love with my own loneliness
It will become my cornerstone
And next time you see me
I'll be the one holding the universe together
With duct tape and paperclips
And self-taught self-sufficiency
I will be the MacGyver of being whole

Snippet #33

“It's not premarital sex if you never intend to get married,” Jonáš wagged his eyebrows suggestively. 

But despite the playfulness of his words, there was a sadness in his face. We both knew there was a good chance that neither of us could get married, even if we wanted to.

Snippet #31

           “I took 8 showers in a row – and I still felt dirty. I still feel dirty now, and I don’t even know if that’s normal.” Sophie’s fingers traced the rim of the coffee mug in her hands. Sophie didn’t even drink coffee. The smell of it just calmed her down.

            Jonáš came into the kitchen. “Wow. Super hygienic, aren’t you?”

            Sophie ignored him.

            I cleared my throat.

            The silence was stifling. 

Snippet #22

“You may be better, but I’m still dying.”