Snippet #30

 “I don’t know how you can be so heartless, I mean, I gave you mine.”

            “No. you didn’t give me your heart. You didn’t give me love. You gave me friendship and expected sex. Do you not see how fucked up that is? Do you not see how worthless that makes me feel? I’m sorry that for once I wanted to be seen as a person, and not as your sexual pleasure. I’m sorry that you got stuck with the crappy consolation prize that is my friendship. Oh yeah, you’re a real nice guy.”

Snippet #24

            “Marek! Give me my sandwich back!” Sophie’s voice went up an octave.

            “Not until you ask for it in Czech!” Marek taunted.

Jonáš and I looked at each other across the dining table.

He cocked his head to the side, “Do you ever feel like you’re the parent to your own best friends?”

I had to laugh. “Really? YOU feel like a parent? I’m the parent. You’re the cool older brother.”

Sophie and Marek’s sandwich argument continued, with no acknowledgment of anyone else’s existence; the sandwich was all that mattered. Sophie started screaming louder, “If you don’t give me back my sandwich, I’ll cut off your right hand so you’ll have to awkwardly masturbate with your left hand and it won’t be nearly as satisfying!”

“YOU DEMON!” Marek threw the sandwich at Sophie. A look of pure horror crossed his face. He cradled his right hand with his left and held it close. 

Snippet #18

“Oh, are you her lesbian lover?” He taunted. I did everything I could to not cringe. Being a lesbian had never made things easy for me. I can’t speak for all lesbians, but the girls I had come across never were all that friendly, afraid I’d become romantically interested in them, and the boys just didn’t understand that while, yes, I was a lesbian, I was still a girl. And no, I would not let them watch.

“I’m not. But what if I was? What difference does that make to you?”

“It’s not normal. I shouldn’t have to worry about gays hitting me.”

            “Wow. First off, she’s a lesbian and won’t be hitting on you. And second, don’t flatter yourself. No sensible gay man is going to be attracted to you when you’re such an asshole.”

Snippet #17

“And you don’t expect to get a pretty girl?” I shot back.

Jonáš made a face, “Pansexual, sweetheart. Doesn’t have to be a pretty girl. A pretty boy will do just fine. I’m not picky.”

Snippet #12

“Yeah, we can all sit around and sip wine and discuss great literature or film or art. Except Sophie, who’ll have grape juice because she can’t drink in her country.”

            “Thanks, guys.”