Monday, September 21, 2015

He’s the Glue on Your Hands Right Before You Peel It Off and Old Books


He’s the glue on your hands right before you peel it off and old books. He’s the sound of sneakers on a gym floor and the glow-in-the-dark prize from deep inside the cereal box. He’s the smell of pencil shavings and old crayons and the hair tie that gets stuck in your hair. He’s an orchestra tuning and a soda can opening. He’s relief and nostalgia and hysterics and guilty pleasures. He’s every scar with a story and peeing after holding it all day. He’s the squeak from fresh cheese curds and mint ice cream and the feeling of paint squishing through your fingers. He always guesses the ending of a murder mystery wrong. He’s the shivers from a perfect song and getting a back massage. He’s the feeling of someone else’s hands running through your hair and impromptu water balloon fights.

He’s the summer vacation you always dreamed of.

You wouldn’t change a thing.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Spun Sugar -- 1 August 2015

I can taste the distance in your kiss
And feel the discontent in your fingertips
Never thought love to be as fickle as the breeze
Seems like I have so much I don't know
You always said that I was spun sugar
Held together by questions and surgical tape
But before you always said it with a semblance of a smile
I was always afraid you'd leave me for something solid
Now I'm afraid you'll leave me for nothing at all

Saturday, July 18, 2015

She's Foreign Adventures and Leather Boots and Rock Climbing

She’s foreign adventures and leather boots and rock climbing. She’s digging up dead people and their things and Indiana Jones. She’s sweat, exhilaration after a workout, and fresh manicures. She’s eating until you hate yourself and the laugh she makes when it’s suggested that she has a parasite. She’s the need to speak her mind, and the judgment when you do something stupid. She’s black coffee and maps and cats.  She’s playing the same song over and over until everyone who spends any amount of time with her knows all the words. She’s the color black, the vast emptiness of space, and colonizing the moon. She’s anxiety and panic attacks, but needing to look fierce even when she’s falling apart because some part of her life has to be put together.

She may be held together by duct tape, but she won’t let that stop her.

You never thought that it would.

Monday, June 15, 2015

Just Enough And No More -- 14 June 2015

When will I learn that some times
I can't magically make everything okay
And that filling in the cracks and spaces
Of others with myself
Just leaves us both empty
When will I stop looking for myself
In hearts that will never be home
I need to stop yearning to be held
By arms that can't contain all of me
I constantly need to remember
That I shouldn't lose myself
Just because I'm loving someone else too much
And making us both break
I need to work on loving just enough and no more

Saturday, May 23, 2015

MacGyver -- 23 May 2015

She was my stability
The 4-year long constant
She never saw the tears I cried
For I wasn't crying for her
Or because she was leaving
But they were merely for myself
And the changes I didn't realize
Until they hit me like a tidal wave
I never thought I was afraid of being alone
So I'll placate myself
And dry my own tears
Label it all "Done" and "Fun" and "Over"
Fall in love with my own loneliness
It will become my cornerstone
And next time you see me
I'll be the one holding the universe together
With duct tape and paperclips
And self-taught self-sufficiency
I will be the MacGyver of being whole

Monday, May 11, 2015

Cold Hands, Warm Hearts -- 11 May 2015

The wind was a thin whisper
Keeping life from spilling across the landscape
Birds fill the air above the cold canyon
Stray shafts of sunlight tint the world to a gold haze
You gather me close
Puffs of breath mingle in the small space between
Our skin cracks and sparks from the cold
Interlocked fingertips go numb
Holding hands is a natural hand-warmer
So I'm never letting you go
My jaw aches from chattering and you can't feel your face
You say you love me so much it hurts
Just show me where and I'll kiss it better

Saturday, May 2, 2015

You Were Always Supposed To Be A Warning -- 2 May 2015

You were always supposed to be a warning
A wildfire can never hold the ocean
But you make me want to try

I was told that love can be so destructive
The kind of force that rots and levels cities
Leaving only deteriorated carcasses of what used to be

My mother brought me to several such cities
Places where she thought no hope could dwell
But I never heeded any advice she gave

I felt no dysphoria in these lonely, forgotten places
Any warnings from my mother have faded in my head
I was too busy archiving architecture and dreaming

You were always supposed to be a warning
There can be beauty to be found in the aftermath of chaos
Even if I'm the only one to see it

Microexpressions -- 7 February 2021

Maybe someday I'll be able to tell a story That doesn't have anything to do with me Or you But how can I ignore Your mouth full of e...