MacGyver -- 23 May 2015

She was my stability
The 4-year long constant
She never saw the tears I cried
For I wasn't crying for her
Or because she was leaving
But they were merely for myself
And the changes I didn't realize
Until they hit me like a tidal wave
I never thought I was afraid of being alone
So I'll placate myself
And dry my own tears
Label it all "Done" and "Fun" and "Over"
Fall in love with my own loneliness
It will become my cornerstone
And next time you see me
I'll be the one holding the universe together
With duct tape and paperclips
And self-taught self-sufficiency
I will be the MacGyver of being whole

Cold Hands, Warm Hearts -- 11 May 2015

The wind was a thin whisper
Keeping life from spilling across the landscape
Birds fill the air above the cold canyon
Stray shafts of sunlight tint the world to a gold haze
You gather me close
Puffs of breath mingle in the small space between
Our skin cracks and sparks from the cold
Interlocked fingertips go numb
Holding hands is a natural hand-warmer
So I'm never letting you go
My jaw aches from chattering and you can't feel your face
You say you love me so much it hurts
Just show me where and I'll kiss it better

You Were Always Supposed To Be A Warning -- 2 May 2015

You were always supposed to be a warning
A wildfire can never hold the ocean
But you make me want to try

I was told that love can be so destructive
The kind of force that rots and levels cities
Leaving only deteriorated carcasses of what used to be

My mother brought me to several such cities
Places where she thought no hope could dwell
But I never heeded any advice she gave

I felt no dysphoria in these lonely, forgotten places
Any warnings from my mother have faded in my head
I was too busy archiving architecture and dreaming

You were always supposed to be a warning
There can be beauty to be found in the aftermath of chaos
Even if I'm the only one to see it

Lizzy's 10pm Thoughts

So Lizzy, while in bed, just said to me, "Sydnee, when you were in Prague and I was rooming with Carrie. During finals week, I did the milk gallon challenge with some kid. I'm lactose intolerant. I shouldn't even be alive right now. I'm living on borrowed time right now."

My roommate, everyone. 

Expensive Bruise -- 15 April 2015

All my observations may be sarcasm-based
But all you've ever been was an expensive bruise
We both still have so many things to learn
Like how to stop being so miserable all the time
For sharp tongues and biting words do not a relationship make
You know what to say to leave me reeling
And I know how to cut you to the quick
No one ever taught you how to compromise
No one taught me how to please
So we fight with words instead of fists
My pride will be the crime scene
Your mouth will be the smoking gun
The worst part is that I'll kiss away the smoke
And no one has to know what happens behind closed doors

Seven -- 15 April 2015

Your ambition lusts after power and prestige
Leaving you gluttonous for making up rules
Pride for your work knows no bounds
Green the only currency for greedy fingers
Falling so easily to sloth and luxury
Your vengeful wrath rains down on adversaries
I don't envy anyone in your way

An Asshole's Postcard -- 15 April 2015

Dear Julia,
            Roses are red
            Violets are blue
            Sorry to say
            But I'm leaving you
---Charles

Dear Charles,
             Roses are red
             Violets are blue
             You're an asshole
             And I'm leaving you too
---Julia